In Line at Picante

For whatever reason, I don’t have as many celebrity sightings in Kafkaville as I thought I would. I saw Matt Damon at Kampa Park back in the spring, and once, while DJing at the Roxy while the first “Mission:Impossible” was filming, I had Tom Cruise and his entourage come in, scope the place, and promptly leave. (I’ve always been proud of that one, though).

And somehow, I figured it would be just my luck that I’d see Iveta BartoÅ¡ová at my local Å koda dealer (she’s their spokesmodel, as regular readers of this blog know). But no.

So whenever I see a celebrity of any wattage whatsoever, as a sufferer of Iva Kubelková syndrome, I have to take notice.

Iva Kubelková syndrome, for those too lazy to follow the link, basically states that your knowledge of who Iva Kubelková is is actually displacing useful information from your brain. You could know something about EU accession processes, but you don’t, because you know who Iva Kubelková is. Stateside, I call it Joyce DeWitt Syndrome, btw.

Tonight in line at Picante, porn star Paula Wild ordered a burrito before I did.

Is there an abbreviation for a tongue-in-cheek link?

Living in LA, you sort of learn the protocol for celebrity sightings by osmosis. You’re supposed to act like you’re not fazed by their famousness, all the while keeping detailed notes or, if possible, photos on the down-low. But what does one do with porn stars? Turn to a friend and say, ‘hey, there’s famous pr0n star so-and-so,’ which obviously tags you as either a) obsessive Blesk reader b) obsessive porn viewer c) obsessive person afflicted with Iva Kubelková syndrome.

Should one go over and high-five porn stars one encounters in public? Or do you do as I did, which was mumble my burrito order twice, screwing it up first in Czech then in English, then go home and blog about the whole debacle? What is the etiquette for greeting someone you’ve seen nude before you’ve seen clothed? Should it any different for any other C- or D- list celebrity?

Like I said, me and celebrity sightings just don’t get along together, so please feel free to leave any of your own recent Kafkaville celebrity sightings in the comments.

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