|Tonight Bloopy came by, bearing, as he usually does, excellent gifts. One of the most interesting of the gifts he brought was a packet of pork jerky (pictured, left). Now beef jerky is something even Czechs are beginning to know about and can understand, but pork jerky is something completely different.
I can only wonder if some product manager at the company that makes the stuff was sitting around looking at his demographics. “Yeah, what we need is a product the Czechs can get behind. Our market research says our beef jerky’s got to have more pork in it.”
This reminds me of one of my favorite places to shop back in the day in L.A., a strange and wonderful place called Pic’n’Save. Pic’n’Save was a really cheap place to buy new stuff, but what made it so compelling was that most of the stuff they sold were failed product launches, products that for whatever reason failed to make it.
One of my favorites was root beer-flavored Kool Aid drink mix. I think it could have been completely obvious to any red-blooded American why this would fail. Um, maybe because with Kool Aid you don’t usually use fizzy water, and root beer-flavored Kool Aid would taste like, well, like flat root beer.
Another excellent one was the Microwave Chocolate Volcano. This was supposed to be in the burgeoning Candy As Entertainment sector, I guess. The idea was that you would put this paper cone in your microwave. The cone, being filled with chocolate, would heat up, and would gush out like a volcano. Problem was that it wasn’t completely clear that you had to tear the top of the paper off, otherwise the whole thing would explode in your microwave, leaving a layer of gooey chocolate all over your microwave.
In a similar vein, A-list blogger James Lileks has a book called “The Gallery of Regrettable Food.” These ads for bacon are pretty unappealing, but maybe that’s just me. I like my bacon with more pork in it.