Watched the opening ceremonies tonight, and it was great. Bjork? DJ Tiesto? Wasn’t the talent lineup for CzechTek instead of the goddammit greatest corporate event in human history? Either way, I always get choked up, for reasons that at some point I will explain.

Tonight, watching the parade of nations, obviously I cheered for the South Pacific nations, because when else are you going to sport a goddammit grass skirt than for a four-billion person audience across the world? Who cares if you dress year-round in Lakers t-shirts? Burundi are my favorites, because they managed to sport their national dress, including javelin-sized sticks, plus wear Nikes, which is cool by me.

DJ Tiesto had the honors of playing the set during the Parade of Nations. Any lovely readers who would like to hook me up with a copy of the setlist or the set itself would be loved to the end of time and back. If you can’t tell, it was a pretty good set, and that’s something coming from me, a great big gigantic DJ skeptic. As UK record store Tunes put it, “Dutch trance jock Tiesto will perform for 90 minutes during the parade of athletes, spinning live for some 4 billion global viewers and the gathered 10,000-odd competitors, many of whom are likely to be considerably more high than your average Space punter. ” Who’s to argue with that?

When the Canadian team came in, however, I was waiting for them to ask me if I wanted fries with my order. How can an entire Olympic team take the short bus all the way to Athens?

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