This year, for some inexplicable reason, I’ve decided to give up meat for Lent, or, as the Czechs call it, pust. It’s not for religious reasons – I’m not even Catholic – but I was curious as to why the tradition remains; like many things in Christianity, it probably has pagan roots anyway.

Of course, all this has nothing to do with the growing resemblance between myself and Porcel, the bawdy Mexican comedian I used to stumble across while channel-surfing back in California.

I’m curious to find out the reasons for a 40-odd day bout of vegetarianism every year, in the runup to the spring. Is it really to be in good shape for spring and summer? Is it because you couldn’t get good meat at this time of year?

I have a theory about life: You have to have a balance of pleasures. If you take a pleasure away, you have to replace it another one.

One of the nicer things, then, is auditioning for the pleasure that’s going to replace a well-grilled steak, vepÅ™ové koleno, or even a McRoyal se sýrem.